Distance makes the heart grow fonder – but it can also make the heart lonely. If your family lives far away, you may find yourself going weeks, months or even years without seeing them. But with a little effort and the right technology, it’s possible to stay in touch with your family.
Americans Move Around a Lot
The United States is a big country, and many people move around quite a bit. According to northAmerican Moving Services, 25% of men say they have moved away from their hometown. Women are even more likely to leave home, with 36% saying they have moved away from their hometown.
While young adults may move for their careers, older adults often move to a destination that’s seen as ideal for retirement, such as sunny Florida. Wanting to be closer to family is another common reason to move, but sometimes moving takes people away from family instead.
The Importance of Staying in Touch
You probably want to stay in touch with your family because you love them. That’s a good reason, but there may be other reasons to stay in contact.
According to WebMD, keeping in touch with family can actually help you stay healthy. Family members can provide different types of support, whether it takes the form of emotional support, information or financial assistance and care packages.
If you live far away from your family, it can be difficult to maintain the close connections that can keep you feeling happy, healthy and loved, but it is still possible.
Leverage Technology
Technology has given us more options for long distance communication than ever before. You can still talk on the phone, but you can also write an email, send a text message or hop onto a video call so you can see you’re loved ones’ faces while you’re talking. Social media is another option. If your loved ones use Facebook or other social media platforms, signing up for your own account is an easy way to stay in touch.
Avoid Alienating Your Loved Ones
If your children don’t call as often as you’d like or your grandchildren never bother to write thank-you letters for the gifts you give them, you may be understandably upset. However, how you approach the matter could make things worse.
According to Verywell Mind, emotional blackmail is considered a form of emotional abuse, and it can take the form of shaming, threats, ultimatums, exaggeration, manipulation, guilt trips or the silent treatment. If you make your family members feel bad every time you talk to them, they might not want to talk to you anymore. This can lead to fewer calls – or worse. The Week says that more and more young adults are choosing to go “no-contact” with family members they consider toxic.
Instead of resorting to guilt trips and other forms of emotion blackmail, try to utilize healthier ways of expressing your feelings. For example, you could initiate contact instead of waiting for a call or explain how much staying in contact means to you. You may also need to be understanding about their busy schedules and find compromises, whether it’s replacing some video calls with text messages or finding a time that works well for your loved ones.
Try to Meet in Person
Video calls are great, but nothing beats getting to see your loved ones in person. Unfortunately, when people have limited money and vacation time, getting together can be challenging. To make a reunion happen, you may have to find solutions.
- Consider offering to pay. You may or may not be in a position to do this. If you have the money and your loved ones don’t, consider offering to foot the bill for a family reunion.
- Plan a family vacation. If you can only afford to take one trip a year, you have to decide between visiting family or going on a real vacation – unless you combine the two. Instead of visiting your loved ones or asking them to visit you, consider planning a family vacation to a destination that everyone can enjoy.
- Respect your family members – including your in-laws! There’s a stereotype about the overbearing and critical mother-in-law. Your adult children may not dress, keep their house or raise their children the way you like, but it’s important to stay respectful. Likewise, it’s important to avoid overstaying your welcome and to accept that some people are more comfortable booking a hotel than sharing a roof (or a bathroom). If you respect your family’s preferences, you might find that they’re more likely to make time for you.
Want more ideas on how to stay healthy and happy during retirement? Subscribe to news alerts from Silver&Smart.